Erica

We spent our childhoods together with quarrels, punches, complaints, anger, hates, and everything else that you can think of from siblings relationships. Our relationship was so terrible that every Christmas, our mum always said that her only wish was for us to stop fighting each other.

Now that I think about it, I guess I just wanted an acceptance during my childhood, especially from her. She is my older sister and no matter how silly she was (actually even until now, we’re still silly sisters), I wanted to impress her. I wanted her to notice me and to see me at the same level as her, not as a young immature little sister. But the more effort I did, the more we hated each other because it showed my insecurities which made her felt insecure and it was very uncomfortable for both of us. I didn’t realize that there was no point of being insecure in a relationship when you truly have a compassion for the other person. Life is not always a competition of who’s better at math or who loves more or who sacrifices more.

Well, I used to hate the time when she complained about my munching sound, my whines, my clumsiness, my immature acts, and especially my weaknesses. I mean, come on, I was just a little kid that time, why didn’t you just understand me and agree with me all the time. That was my very thought. But deep down inside my mind, of course, I knew she was right that I was everything she’d told me. It’s just my mind was too occupied with myself and my pride was still soaring as high as my cholesterol level right now.

It hurts to hear all the bitter truths about your habits were being slapped to your face. But oh my, now that I’ve become a grown-up person, I realize that I am nothing without her. I won’t be this strong if it’s not because of her. If she didn’t complain to me about my munching sound, maybe I wouldn’t have known how to behave in public. If she didn’t complain about my whines, maybe I wouldn’t have the courage to find my own solution of my problems before starting to complain and who knows, maybe I wouldn’t have friends right now (who likes to hear a person whines all the time?).  She’s like my medicine: sometimes bitter but in the end, she always makes me a better person. I just can’t thank enough to her that she has never given up on me and to my mum for her years of Christmas prayers.

Bogor : Nasi Goreng Mas Bewok

Alkisah ada penjual nasi goreng bernama Pak Bewok. Saya memanggilnya Pak Bewok, meskipun nama tendanya 'Mas Bewok'. hehe. Beliau berjualan di Jalan Wijaya Kusuma 2, depan Inti Dapur Perumahan Taman Yasmin Sektor 1 di Kota Bogor . Saya ngefans abis sama nasi goreng buatan Pak Bewok ini.

Meskipun Pak Bewok terkesan diam dan judes saat melayani pelanggan, tapi nasi gorengnya super enak bagi saya. One of the best. Mungkin juga karena saya lebih suka rasa nasi goreng gerobakan daripada nasi goreng restoran. Rasa nasi gorengnya konsisten setiap saat, tapi anehnya kalau bulan puasa, rasanya lebih nikmat, padahal saya tidak ikutan puasa. hehe. Oya, nasi goreng Pak Bewok ini tetap enak meskipun dibawa pulang. Kalau kata orang, berarti dia tidak pakai pelet. hahaha.

Saya sempat kecewa sekali saat beberapa kali lewat depan tempat Pak Bewok berjualan pertama kali dan tidak menemui tenda Pak Bewok. Saya pikir, beliau sudah tidak berjualan lagi atau pindah entah kemana. Ah, belum sempat tanya nomor telfonnya lagi. Eh, tapi mau tanya juga takut dicuekin, soalnya Pak Bewok ini setiap diajak ngomong selalu diam saja, beliau malah berbicara sama anaknya yang membantu menyiapkan bahan-bahan masakan. Agak aneh, karena kalau diamati, beliau jarang berbicara dengan anaknya kecuali di saat orang lain mengajak bicara Pak Bewok.

Semoga Pak Bewok dan anaknya panjang umur dan sejahtera selalu sehingga kenikmatan nasi gorengnya bisa terus dinikmati oleh orang banyak. Hidup Pak Bewok!

-------------------------------

Hidup Adalah Pilihan : Make No Time For Drama

Akhirnya, lusa saya akan pergi ke Jepang untuk melanjutkan sekolah.

Aneh rasanya. Apabila hal yang diimpikan selama ini hampir terjadi atau sudah di depan mata. ternyata rasanya tidak selalu indah. Ternyata masih banyak kekhawatiran, kesedihan, ketakutan, keresahan, dan emosi-emosi negatif lainnya.

Meskipun selama ini saya sudah memikirkan tentang risiko-risiko dari pilihan yang saya buat ini, namun ada kalanya diri ini merasa lemah saat persoalan lainnya datang bertubi-tubi. 

Di hari menjelang keberangkatan saya, nenek saya di luar kota sedang kritis. Otomatis Ibu saya harus berangkat ke luar kota untuk menemani beliau. Meskipun saya sedih, tapi saya tidak bisa menunjukkan itu di depan ibu. Saya tahu beliau sebenarnya lebih banyak pikiran dan kebimbangan : antara kepentingan ibunya atau anaknya. Kami sekeluarga memaksa Ibu saya untuk berangkat saja ke luar kota, tidak usah bimbang memikirkan karena tidak dapat mengantarkan keberangkatan saya. Usia saya (insyaallah) masih panjang. Jangan sampai Ibu saya menyesal karena tidak ada di samping ibunya di saat- saat terakhir. 

Saya tidak mengerti, kenapa saya sedih saat saya berpikir kalau Ibu saya tidak akan ada di samping saya di saat2 menjelang keberangkatan saya. Mungkin saya sedih karena Ibu saya sedih? atau saya sedih hanya karena saya takut rindu? Kalau rindu, toh kami masih bisa berkomunikasi menggunakan internet. Tapi namanya perasaan ya begitu saja dirasa, tidak bisa dibohongi, hanya bisa pura-pura tidak dirasa.

Kekhawatiran akan finansial juga cukup membebani pikiran. Bagaimana kalau di sana saya tidak dapat beasiswa? bagaimana kalau di sana saya tidak mendapatkan pekerjaan? bagaimana kalau saya tidak dapat mengikuti topik pelajaran dengan baik? apalagi ini adalah hal yang baru di hidup saya selama ini. Bebannya banyak, takut ini takut itu. Kadang bisa tiba-tiba merasa termotivasi, antusias, dan semangat karena akan menjalani dan mempelajari hal yang baru. Kadang bisa juga merasa tidak nyaman karena terlalu banyak khawatir.

Karena ini, saya jadi menyadari dan bersyukur atas 1 prinsip yang saya pegang kuat-kuat: jalani apa yang kamu inginkan. Karena sebesar-besarnya khawatir dan masalah yang dihadapi, kita akan selalu merasa kuat dan semangat karena itu adalah pilihan hidup kita. Kita akan merasa ikhlas akan risiko yang dihadapi. Saya pikir, mungkin saya akan bereaksi lain apabila saya hanya menuruti kemauan dari orang lain, padahal saya tidak menyukainya. Mungkin saya akan cepat merasa putus asa apabila menghadapi masalah yang bertubi-tubi. Kalau kita tidak bisa keluar dari hal yang tidak kita sukai, carilah hal-hal positif dalam posisi kita. Pasti ada :)!

Hidup adalah pilihan. Benar kalau kata orang 'bahagia itu dari dalam pikiran'. Meskipun banyak masalah, perasaan selalu berdasar dari pilihan kita : Apakah mau merasa sedih terus atau bahagia? Semua orang menghadapi masalah dalam hidupnya, tapi setiap orang menyikapinya berbeda-beda. Kalau bisa memilih, lebih baik memilih untuk cepat bangkit dari sedih kemudian berusaha lagi, daripada sedih terus yang rasanya tidak enak kan? dan untungnya, pilihan itu 100% ada di tangan kita.

Selama ini saya sangat menikmati proses 'menanam pohon' ini. Meskipun banyak cobaan, kegagalan, kegalauan yang dihadapi, tapi saya merasa banyak sekali belajar dari kesusahan yang saya alami. Rasanya jadi lebih banyak bersyukur. Menyadari memiliki keluarga dan teman-teman yang selalu ada di saat susah & senang. Semoga ke depannya, 'pohon' ini tumbuh dengan baik dan berbuah manis. :)

Terimakasih sudah membaca.

Harus tetap semangat!!

--------------------------------------------------

Belajar Bersyukur : Panen Cabai

Akhir-akhir ini saya sangat menikmati aktivitas yang satu ini, panen cabai. Selain karena saya suka makan sambal, saya menikmati aktivitas ini karena, somehow, saya serasa selalu diingatkan tentang berbagai kebaikan alam semesta dalam hidup saya, dalam hal-hal besar maupun hal-hal kecil yang seringkali saya tidak sadari. Kalau saja, ternyata alam semesta ini tidak baik, tidak mungkinlah tanaman cabai ini tumbuh dengan subur di halaman rumah saya. 

Kalaupun alam semesta sudah berbaik hati tetapi saya tidak merawat tanaman cabai ini, mungkin juga dia tidak berbuah.

Berinteraksi dengan si tanaman cabai ini sebenarnya tidak jauh berbeda dengan beinteraksi dengan sesama manusia. Orang lain diciptakan alam semesta untuk saling menemani, saling merawat dan mengasihi. Saat semua itu dijalankan dengan baik, maka kita semua akan 'berbuah' dan memberikan manfaat bagi sesama. 

Alangkah indahnya kehidupan yang seperti itu.

----

Quotes : Rich Dad Poor Dad

I had this Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki book for like 5 years ago and never had a priority to read the book. Although I found that this book is somehow suspicious for its truth and some say its advises were false and mislead, I think this book is quite entertaining to get me motivated. However, like most of any other motivational books, the reading experience is depending a lot by our own thoughts. Try to see everything with half-empty-glass perspectives and positive mind and you'll gain the benefit.

Overall, the reading experience from reading this book was thrilling. It has gave me tremendous new perspectives and experiences. I gained the benefit, and I hope all people gain it too. So here are some quotes in the book that I took very useful and inspiring. For people who don't want / can't read the whole book, I hope this quotes compilation served you well. Happy reading! :)

---

"One of the reasons the rich get richer, the poor get poorer, and the middle class struggles in debt is that the subject of money is taught at home, not in school. Most of us learn about money from our parents. So what can poor parents tell their child about money? they simply say, 'Stay in school and study hard.' The child may graduate with excellent grades, but with a poor person's financial programming and mindset."

"Sadly, money is not taught in schools. Schools focus on scholastic and professional skills, but not on financial skills. This explains how smart bankers, doctors, and accountants who earned excellent grades may be struggle financially all of their lives."

"...by  automatically saying the words 'I can't afford it,' your brains stop working. By asking the question 'How can I afford it?' your brain is put to work. He did not mean that you should buy everything you want. He was fanatical about exercising your mind, the most powerful computer in the world."

"One dad said ,'The reason I'm not rich is because I have you kids.' The other said, 'The reason I must be rich is because I have you kids."

"There is a difference between being poor and being broke. Broke is temporary. Poor is eternal."

" The Road Not Taken (Robert Frost)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads onto way,

I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence;

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

"Money is one form of power. But what is more powerful is financial education. Money comes and goes, but if you have the education about how money works, you gain power over it and can begin building wealth."

"You work for me, I'll teach you. You don't work for me, I won't teach you. I can teach you faster if you work, and I'm wasting my time if you just want to sit and listen like you do in school. That's my offer. Take it or leave it.

'Ah, may I ask a question first?' I asked.

'No. Take it or leave it. I've got too much work to do to waste my time. If you can't make up your mind decisively, then you'll never learn to make money anyway. Opportunities come and go. Being able to know when to make quick decisions is an important skill. You have the opportunity that you asked for. School is beginning, or it's over in 10 seconds.' "

"If you learn life's lesson, you will do well. If not, life will just continue to push you around. People do two things. Some just let life push them around. Others get angry and push back. But they push back against their boss, or their job, or their husband or wife. They do not know it's life that's pushing."

"Life pushes all of us around. Some people give up and others fight. A few learn the lesson and move on. They welcome life pushing them around. To these few people, it means they need and want to learn something. They learn and move on. Most quit, and a few like you fight."

Pengalaman Gagal LPDP di Seleksi Substansi Batch II 2016

Kecewa? sudah pasti. Denial? Iya. Sedih? tidak usah ditanya. Khawatir? sangat.

Pengalaman gagal Beasiswa Pendidikan Indonesia (BPI) dari LPDP (Lembaga Pengelola Dana Pendidikan) ini saya anggap sebagai salah satu cobaan terberat untuk mental saya. Kenapa mental? karena mengalami rejections berkali-kali itu berat rasanya. Serasa mempertanyakan lagi semuanya : Kenapa saya bisa tidak dapat? apa saya sebodoh ini? apa saya bisa dapat masa depan yang baik? apa saya kurang ini, apa saya kurang itu, berbagai pertanyaan seperti ini serasa lari-lari dan memenuhi pikiran saya saat tanggal 10 Juni 2016 saya membuka account page LPDP yang menyatakan bahwa saya tidak lolos seleksi wawancara Batch II (11-13 Mei 2016) di STAN, Jakarta. 

Sepertinya untuk batch II ini, yang mendapatkan e-mail pengumuman hanya peserta yang lolos seleksi substansi, sedangkan yang tidak lolos mendapatkan pengumuman di status akun pada website LPDP. Oya, pengumuman dimulai dari jam 6 sore.

Kalau dipikir-pikir memang ketika proses seleksi essay on the spot & leaderless group discussion (LGD ) saya merasa saya tidak menjalankannya dengan baik. Tapi waktu itu saya masih optimis karena sesi wawancara terasa berjalan dengan baik. Meskipun saya terpojokkan oleh satu pertanyaan, tapi salah satu interviewer yang memojokkan saya dengan pertanyaan itu, di akhir interview mengucapkan bahwa LPDP Indonesia mencari kandidat seperti saya. 

Rasanya hati ini seperti naik roller coaster. Mual, takut, khawatir, antusias.

DanSeA2015 Trip : Itinerary Part 1 Indonesia

Finally! This is my first post since I got back from my Southeast Asia Trip.  All the experiences, new things, reflections are running and bubbling in my head all the time and stay in my heart forever. The trip has been my home. I even feel homesick after I finished my trip. What a strange feeling, I feel homesick when I'm home. I just realized that traveling is the thing that keeps me sane.

A lot of requests from my friends to write about my trip itinerary or share the story. But really, I don't know where to begin. I have a myriad of things to say, to tell, to write, even to think about the stories.The same thing happened when I met my friends in Indonesia. I imagined that there would be gobs of stories to share about my trip. In fact, when we met, I lost my words. I just couldn't tell the whole experience in a short one time gathering. Actually I prefer to share the experience directly in person, but I think it's not really convenient to do that, since it's gonna take days for the storytelling, so I'm gonna share it here in my blog. I'll share the experience and information, and if there's something you need to know beside the things I mention here please just let me know.